Adventure Unfolding

I’ve always questioned whether or not I have what it takes to be a missionary. I like my privacy. I like my space. I like a clean home and a hot shower. I like art, design, culinary creativity. I like Starbucks, and nice jeans. I am a middle class American. Would I have to give up all these things to say 'yes' to a life of missions?

Tina's sister, Terra, in Malawi, 2010.

Lil Chud & friend, Lebanon 2016.

I picture my sister's beautifully freckled pale hand holding a dark skinned child's, when she went to Malawi years ago- she has what it takes. I listened in awe as our friends told of their plans to move to war-torn Lebanon, to raise a family there- they have what it takes. When we casually told them we would be open to missions someday (you know, after retirement, the kids are raised, and we are independently wealthy), they warned us, “That BIG GO may be sooner than you think- especially when you start giving and praying for missionaries.”

Dang.

When we visited our son Ashton, at Teen Challenge, Hilo in January 2016, I had tucked that little warning safely away in my heart months before. We had an incredible visit on the Big Island, knowing our transformed son found freedom and identity with the help of his mentors and local church, Sure Foundations.

Ashton's dorm, Teen Challenge

Ashton's mentor, Kalani & his wife Margie

We wanted to see the YWAM base while we were there and Matt remembered that Loren Cunningham (the founder of YWAM) told him to give him a call if he ever got to the island when he spoke at our church earlier that year. My rolling eyes and scoffing, “Oh really, we're just gonna call up ol Loren to hang out with us?” did not hinder Matt's genuine “Why not?” (I love that man).

Loren recording a quick 'commercial' in front of the green screen during our tour.

And since we're name dropping here, Andy Byrd and his dad were on campus that day too.

During our 2 hour guided introduction to the campus from Loren himself, we met several leaders including Blake Casteel that heads up a fitness ministry that uses the Crossfit model to share Jesus. Matt has been a Crossfit coach for 3 years and had never heard of this ministry, Respect the Corners. His eyes lit up with possibility.

Blake with Matt trying to understand.  'How do you coach full time without a salary?'

I was expecting some kind of heavenly glow to the campus but quite honestly it was old and empty with no air conditioning, the pool was broken, the fountain was off, and the housing reminded me of summer camp with 2 x 4 bunk beds. There were no doors inside the family unit. A magnificent tree overshadowed the coffee shop but the only thing captivating about the place seemed to be coming from the people there who had clearly given up much to serve. They were literally beaming, radiating a loving resolve.

Cafe Banyon Tree

 I left Hawaii with that haunting question, Do I have what it takes to be a missionary?

As February rolled in, we could not shake that question that turned into a strong desire for both of us. So on Valentine's Day, we went up to Hatcher’s Pass to pray about going to Kona for a DTS (Discipleship Training School).
The NEXT DAY our daily devotional from Sure Foundations church in Hilo said this:

Well that was pretty clear. Ok. So we're going.

But when? Are we talking about after retirement, or in a year after Ethan graduates? The Respect the Corners DTS isn't even offered regularly, so how could Matt be sure to attend? We started feeling an urgency about knowing when. So on Saturday night, March 5^th, we prayed together again about when we should go.

The NEXT DAY at church, guest speakers Steve & Lorraine Box came with this message (listen to the podcast here) titled, “Adventure & Advance”. Their message was all about how God is stirring people to risk and say 'yes' now without having all the answers. They shared how their own story began years ago when they felt called to quit their jobs and do a DTS at YWAM Kona with their 2 boys!

Steve & Lorraine Box

I was shaking and crying after the service when Gretta Clark, whom I hadn't shared any of our questions with, walked up, looked at me sideways, and said very slowly in her Alaska native accent, “I wonder what would happen if you just step out and go?” She mentioned something about Abraham, and everything else she said in between was a blur until she repeated, “I wonder what would happen if you just step out and go?”

 Blake texted after church THAT DAY telling Matt they had decided to offer a Respect the Corners DTS this September.

We told him we would be there. Anything else at this point would be disobedient:)

You would think that with all these flashing lights and obvious answers that I would be at rest, trusting the Lord completely with our next steps. We actually were without our bed for several days because I sold it on Craigslist in my haste at being “all- in” to prepare our house to sell. I was already having trouble sleeping thinking about everything that needed to be done, trying to remind myself not to worry. Finally, after praying through nightmares and recognizing fear rooted in unbelief in God's goodness, I anchored myself in these scriptures: 

1 Thes 5:24“He who has called you is faithful and HE will do it”

Joshua 1:5 “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you”.

Image stolen online from YWAM student

The DAY BEFORE we were going to put our house up for sale in April, we got a text from our friends that live out of state to let us know they had decided to retire early from the military and were looking for a house to rent in Palmer when they move here in September!

And wouldn't it just be unbelievable if she happens to be the licensed, certified counselor Set Free Alaska is looking to hire?!

HE IS BETTER THAN WE THINK. Better than we could ever ask for or imagine. And his timing is perfect.

So we're leaving September 29^th on our big adventure. 

We still have lots of unanswered questions like why is he making this decision so clear and so many other times when we've asked for direction, we've heard nothing? Why do some seasons feel spiritually like hiking uphill in the fog, exhausted and hungry, and some seasons- like we're beaming, radiating a loving resolve that may set the world on fire?

And I wonder, Do I really have what it takes to be a missionary?

Well, we're about to find out.